Deadly Reminder
It’s not something I like to think about, but lupus is a very serious and potentially fatal illness. I was reading an article on the Associated Press this morning about how the woman who was the the inspiration for the classic Beatles song, “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”, died after a long battle with lupus. (I would link the article, but the AP has some pretty strict usage guidelines for their articles. I don’t really feel like paying for a link. You can search for it on your own.) Lucy Vodden had been a childhood friend of John Lennon’s son, Julian, who had come home from school one day with a drawing of “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.” I had always thought it stood for LSD. I think I like the song a bit better now.
What I don’t like is thinking about losing my wife to lupus. Mrs. Vodden spent the last five years of her life in a hospital in England. She was only 46. I know my wife doesn’t like to think about dying. We are both in a bit of denial about her disease. We keep assuming that at some point she will just get better, or some new medicine will work wonders. I don’t really know that it’s such a bad thing to think that. What’s the alternative? Does thinking about death make anything better? I don’t think so. Yes, we need to take lupus seriously, but life can’t just be about avoiding death. Everyone will eventually lose that battle.
I just don’t want her to lose that battle anytime soon.
I take life one day at a time, & enjoy it as much as I can. I know in the back of my mind that it is a very real possibility that Lupus can kill me. What I hold onto the most is, my kids are grown & at college, & I am enjoying every second of being able to spend with my husband. I have waited for that for a long time. I think you have to find something that your passionate about Animals are very therapeutic, at least for me. I have 3 dogs, 4 ferrets, & a rabbit. Every morning I get out of bed no matter how crappy I feel, get some o.j. to drink, I let the dogs out in the fenced in yard, & leave the door open so they can come & go all day, I feed the rabbit, change the water. Then I go into my bedroom where we keep the ferrets. I let them out, they run around the room, while I sit down & clean the litter box. They get fresh food & water, & get to play as long as they want. I watch movies, or tv while they play. I am always in a great mood when I play with my ferrets. I am of the feeling that, if Lupus takes me tomorrow, I enjoyed everyday I had until then.
I have also came off meds that I really didn’t need, sleeping pills, muscle relaxants, xanax & others that I can live without. I am currently on Enbrel, methotrexate, Lithium, & Zoloft. I changed the way I eat, I make myself sit out on my back patio everyday, for at least 10 minutes, the fresh air is great. I have a schedule that I follow everyday, & I have to admit, it really works, I didn’t think it would. I have a list of things I have to get done everyday, which are simple & easy. Now when I lay in bed, I almost feel guilty for not doing anything. So for me, I made something that I look forward to everyday, so that the depression doesn’t swallow me, & after a day of laughing at the ferrets, & looking at a room that I cleaned for me that makes all the difference.
Hang in there!
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I need to share this if you don’t mind on my facebook , very touching.
god bless you both hope your wife continues to enjoy her animals for many more years to come . she is a very lucky woman to have you for a loving husband so keep looking up you wont be sorry.