One of the things that really bugs the crap out of me is when my wife does stuff that she KNOWS she’s not supposed to do. I don’t know if this is a common frustration with other people who are living with someone who has lupus, but I have a hunch that it is.

Heads up, loved ones with lupus! It really pisses off the people who love you and want you around for a long time, when you do dumb things to your body! If your doctor tells you not to lift heavy stuff because the discs in your back are permanently damaged, then don’t lift heavy stuff. If you are supposed to drink water so your kidneys are healthy, then drink some damn water instead of green tea lemonades from Starbucks, especially late at night when you already have insomnia!

I totally understand wanting to live your life without being hindered by your illness. We that love you wish that you could do so, but the truth is you cannot. That day in the sun at the beach means a week in bed, and carrying the vacuum upstairs means that you will spend the evening in even more pain than normal. Helping your perfectly healthy sister means that she gets a break and you’ll need pain patches for your back.

Your loved ones want you around as long as possible. Please help us take care of you.