I don’t know how many of you deal with this, but I find it interesting how my wife and I maintain this delicate balance of dealing with her illness and making believe that it isn’t real. Obviously, we have to deal with lupus every day in one way or another. There’s the health insurance that’s not covering what it used to cover, and the financial problems that go along with that. There are limits to what my wife can do during the day, even though she often chooses to ignore those limits. It all catches up to her eventually.

But I understand why she might want to ignore those limits. I haven’t mentioned spoon theory in a long time, mostly because I know my wife doesn’t want to hear that she can’t do something. Who want’s to be reminded of their limitations?

I do find it difficult to walk this tightrope. I sometimes wonder if my taking care of all the messy details is helping or just enabling those moments of make-believe? We all need moments of make-believe. Maybe those of you with chronic illnesses need them more than most.